It’s 12 degrees. It’s cold. And I accept it. I am choosing to not let the cold bother me. I find contentment and joy in that choice.

Raise your level of awareness to the story and to the data of a situation in your life that is challenging you to accept. From there, move through them into a level of acceptance to move forward. For more information on my “30 Days to Fostering Greater Self Compassion” Program, hop over to that page here on my website.



Welcome to my video series on fostering self-compassion. My relationship with grace has shifted recently. She knows me well and has no memory. I’m curious, how would you like to shift your relationship with grace?

Compassion is a gateway to freedom.

Where there is freedom, there is possibility. This powerful freedom empowers us to create new perspectives of ourselves, clear away past hurt and create healthy boundaries. It frees up the energy for creativity and amazing possibilities.  Through compassion, embrace this new found freedom.

Break your heart open to yourself.

‘Break your heart open to yourself’ is the beginning of a poem I wrote while learning to extend compassion to myself a few years ago. What would be the impact of breaking your heart open and habitually embracing yourself? How would you experience and see yourself differently?

The heart smiling habit of self-acknowledgment.

Cultivating the habit of self-acknowledgment positively shifts our perception of ourselves and makes our heart smile. This simple and powerful practice is healthy fuel for our personal growth. It is one of the most empowering elements in my “30 Days to Fostering Greater Self-Compassion” online program.

Our perceptions are key indicators to performance.

“How people perform correlates to how situations occur to them.” The first of three laws of performance presented by Dave Logan and Steve Zaffron in their book: The Three Laws of Performance.

My open water swimming season began on May 5th.  The air temperature was 70 with a slight sea breeze. The water temperature was a stark 47 degrees. I face this situation every May with my swimming buddy Jonathan.

I am excited for my first swim of the season. I remain calm, focused and confident as we slowly walk into the water. It takes just over 3 minutes to become fully submerged. Patience is key. The chill sets in to my muscles. I focus on my breathing. I swim about 50 yards out to the nearest mooring. I can’t keep my head under the water, the pain in my forehead hurts too much. I swim back alternating back stroke with crawl. The time reads 9 minutes. I swim until the 15 minute mark and slowly walk out of the water. With a smile on my face the season is underway.

I am called “crazy” by a few fellow open water swimmers after posting a picture to Facebook. They are willing to start swimming at 60 degrees with a wet suit. This is my edge, not theirs. I also have friends in Boston who swim in the ocean throughout the winter months. That is their edge, not mine. We all share a passion for swimming in the ocean with varying comfort depending on the circumstances.

Raise your awareness as to how you perform in particular situations in your life. How do you perceive those situations? How does that correlate with your performance? What shift is seeking to happen?

Collaborative coaching sessions can help you make the shift you are seeking.  Contact me at 401.500.5990 to reach beyond your current perceptions and raise your level of performance.

A collaborative relationship is a key component to moving forward.

It’s time to make a life altering decision. The clock is ticking. A lack of tolerance for your current circumstances (job, location or relationship) is asking you to make a change. Your heart and mind are seeking fresh opportunities.

A coaching client is weighing the decision to move to another city and create a new business all at the same time. Living outside of Boston and doing contract work is not serving his true potential or desires. The number of cities has been narrowed down to two with a strong vision and expertise to launch the business. A scouting trip is planned to finalize the choice city.

Three important components are aiding his life changing decision. The first two; his intuition and data. His gut, which is a very reliable source will let him know which city feels right. Doing the research and collecting the needed data will further support his decision.

The third important component is the objective, empowering and analytical support from me as his coach. We have created a trusting and collaborative relationship over the past six months. I listen to all the components and he is heard. I ask empowering questions to help him fine tune his own desires, intentions and goals. His emotional and intellectual energies have come into alignment. I offer objective encouragement for the decision he is about to make.

Over the next two weeks he will make these important decisions with the support of and confidence in all three components working together.

A testimonial from a different client. “I had the good fortune of having 2 sessions of coaching with Don Sorterup, at a time when I had to make some life altering decisions. He methodically assessed the situation, gauged my strengths and weaknesses, and together we devised a plan of action. He has a gentle, yet firm approach in empowering you to come up with the solution, and holds you responsible for following through. He also makes a follow up call on an agreed upon date to answer questions and keep you honest about executing the plan.  Needless to say, I made the leap I needed to make, and well on my way to manifesting my goals. I highly recommend Don as a coach, and will continue to work with him as needed.”  S.H.   Former Vice President of Clinical Services

Is it decision time for you? Let’s connect to see how my empowering coaching can support you as you move forward towards your true potential.

Who are you….at age 30, + or – a couple of years?

Hitting age 30 has perhaps been a reality check for where you thought your life might be at this age. What defines you? What no longer defines you? Come explore this inquiry with awareness and curiosity empowered to answer the next question:  knowing who you are and what you care about, how do you want to spend your time and energy?

What’s standing in the way?

What’s standing between you and being kinder and more compassionate with yourself? I find that habitual perspectives and opinions of myself stand in the way. Let’s unpack these opinions and transform them by engaging a few key elements to fostering greater self-compassion. Fostering self-compassion is a heartwarming experience!

It’s time to take out the trash!

How often do you get rid of your garbage? I’m speaking of the emotional trash one picks up in their everyday lives. As you know it begins to stink after a while. It prevents you from seeing a situation with clarity and it can alter your perception of yourself. I offer 3 empowering habits for keeping your emotional trash bin clean.

What really matters in your life?

A wonderful question to ask in the midst of our busy lives. The question beckons us to look at how we spend our time and energy. Are we aligned with our beliefs, values, intentions, goals, passions and sense of purpose in life? Live the life that matters to you! Be well.

The Power of Self-Forgiveness

Self-forgiveness is one of the most powerful elements in creating and sustaining self-compassion. The more you forgive yourself for past afflictions the more space and energy you will have to embrace and love yourself. Notice how your perception of yourself shifts as you embrace the habit.

Fostering a habit of self-forgiveness is one of the key elements offered in my “30 Days to Fostering Self-Compassion” Program.  To learn more about the program.

Anger is my favorite layer cake!

When we raise our awareness to what lies within our anger we find a wonderful gift; deep caring and concern. How will you see your anger differently knowing that deep caring and concern lie within your anger?

Anger is my favorite layer cake is one the key elements in my “30 Days to Fostering Greater Self-Compassion” Program.  To learn more about the program.

What do I find in the silence?

Our lives can be very noisy.  Have you noticed?  Traffic, dogs, neighbors, social media, the news; often times bombarded by noise.  It seems to have become a constant in our society and technology isn’t making it quieter.  Do people prefer the noise rather than the stillness?  Busy, busy, busy keeps us from ourselves.  I speak not only of the external noise but the internal noise as well.  Have you noticed that thoughts, opinions and judgments are always a flurry within ourselves?  Often times like a fiery nor’easter.  Wherein lies the stillness of your self?

In October I attended a 7 day silent meditation retreat.  No phones, no computer, no talking except for when I was in a staff meeting for about 30 minutes a day, still too much talking for the task at hand.  Silence ….. all day in the midst of 35 other participants; during meals, exercise, walks and meditation.  We awoke at 4 am.  I found that to be the noisiest time of the day but not from my fellow participants slowly walking to and from the bathroom or to the dining hall to grab a cup of coffee before our first meditation.  All the noise was coming from my ego “Tell me again, why the hell am I up at this hour, I only got 5 hours of sleep?” Yammer yammer yammer.  Did I really think this retreat would be silent? Ha ha ha.

What am I seeking in the silence?  As my thoughts, beliefs and perspectives all reveal themselves it’s an opportunity to practice just listening.   As the days progressed at the retreat the noise level slowed down.  This is the practice of mindful awareness better stated as “be here now”.  Becoming fully present while sitting in meditation, walking in meditation, eating, brushing my teeth, cleaning the monastery, deep listening.  They like to call it ‘waking up’.  Waking up to all the noise. Waking up to the silence.  Waking up to my bullshit.  Waking up my compassion.

I have been on the path of listening for many many years.  The more I listen the deeper my listening becomes.  My 30 minute daily meditation practice supports my listening.  I am able to hear myself more clearly.  I am able to discern through the noise.  This is listening with intention, with deep awareness and with an open heart.  In my listening I find compassion.  My compassion has become a practice.

What do I find in this compassion?  I find a calm stream of peace that is ever flowing until, of course, I let it be interrupted by the noise.  I find comfort in it’s depth.  It is never ending and cannot be measured by any newfangled technology.  It is accepting of who I am in the moment without judgment or banter. It’s nutritious.  It feeds me throughout the day and filters into my relationships with others.  It offers space before I have a chance to react emotionally.

Through the nurturance of this practice called compassion, it has offered me a choice point.  The choice; banter and be noisy or listen and greet with compassion.

Is it time to let go of the noise?  Is it time to just listen?  Is it time to embrace your compassion?  The choice is always ours in this moment called now.

Learn more about fostering self-compassion.

Practicing self compassion empowers a deep level of well-being.

I deeply care about myself.
I choose to be compassionate with myself.

How about you?

This is about going deeper within.
This is about letting go of the stuff that doesn’t serve you.
It’s time to wake up.

Be courageous.

This is about going inside and not fighting yourself.
Whatever you find offer it love.
This is about showing up for yourself in the midst of whatever you find.
It’s time to purge what doesn’t serve you.

This is about self-forgiveness.
This is a practice.

I will not be held hostage by my own past or my old worn out beliefs.
I will not remain offended by what someone said or did to me 20 years ago or even yesterday.
I will not repeat that story over and over.
I am choosing not to be the victim of that story ever again.
I am stronger and more courageous than what I perceive happened back then.
I choose not to hold anything against anyone.
I am not a victim.
I choose not to let those past offenses impact me today or tomorrow.
This is a practice.

I greet myself with acceptance.
My self-acknowledgment shifts my perception of myself.
I foster greater self-love.

I reclaim all of my power.
I choose to be here now.
This is a practice.

I deeply care about myself.

What does your compassion for yourself look like today?  How would you like your self-compassion to grow over the coming days, weeks and months?

Here’s how to foster greater self-compassion:

Starting today, I invite you to embrace a more compassionate relationship with yourself through my “30 Days to Fostering Greater Self-Compassion” Program.  Engaging and practicing the 15 key elements of the program will create a deeper level of well-being.

I’m interested in learning more.



Copyright © 2017 Donald Sorterup  All rights reserved.